This week I stayed under my total caloric intake even though I did go over on Tuesday while celebrating Wade on his birthday. We went out to eat and I had a larger meal than normal and also added a piece of cherry pie to end the night. Still seeing and feeling positive gains in my body and seeing positive losses on the scale. Feeling good about where I am today. I have had some pretty bad cramping along the outside of my left leg when walking. I am attributing it to walking on the slanted streets. I am going to stick to the route at the Secondary Campus because it is completely level ground. I didn’t experience any cramping yesterday while walking there but that could also be because I took my oldest son, Benjamin’s, advice. It helps to have access to someone who has an Exercise Science degree. I will be taking out stock in Liquid IV soon. The control component of this experiment will be meted out the next time I walk on the street. I will do that maybe next week to see if I experience the same pain while adhering to Ben’s advice. Not sure which one made the difference and it could be both, honestly.
On Wednesday, while walking on the North side of the street, there was a young man walking along the South side of the street. He had a slice of pizza from JD’s and it wafted my way. Yes, I have the nose of a hound dog, especially when it comes to food, and I picked up the scent. There is always a huge variety of scents and smells on the street when I walk. Mostly, folks’ dinners seeping out through open windows and cracked doors. Sometimes it’s laundry detergent or softeners. Sometimes it’s other things, not so pleasant. This slice smelled like the jalapenos and banana peppers that I LOVE so much on the pizza from JD’s. SO good. Seriously. Now, if you know me at all you KNOW I am full-on incapable of NOT speaking to someone. It doesn’t matter where I am, who I am with, what I am doing. I will speak to you and likely before you speak to me. So, I piped up, jokingly, “Man . . . I’m over here trying to get healthy and you’re over there taunting me with pizza.” He quickly retorted that he was also trying to get healthy but from the opposite end. He was underweight and trying to gain some. We both agreed it would be easier if there was a way to donate fat to someone. But since that can’t happen we will both continue plugging along on our separate but similar paths of calorie counting, consuming, and conquering our way to healthy weights.
It was a very short and quick conversation but just as a lot of ground was covered while we walked, a lot of ground was covered while we talked. His name is Carlos. He is from Fort Morgan originally; moved to New Mexico with his parents; moved back here; works at Cargill; and is moving back to New Mexico this week as he has been talking to a girl from there and he wants to be closer to see how it all plays out. Oh, to be young and not tied down to anything or any place. I remember.
But hang on a sec . . . I need to back up several years so that what I am about to say makes sense. Unless today is the first time you have ever read my blog, you know how important my faith and relationship with Jesus is to me. I am a born-again, Bible-believing, Christian woman who has Jesus in her heart. I have been in church the majority of my life. This doesn’t make me better than anyone. I am a saved sinner. That is all. We walked away for about 3 years before Ben was born – that is a whole other story and maybe a blog someday. But when I came back to church and rededicated my life to His will, I had a renewed zeal for Jesus. I was bold in my faith. I was involved at a level I miss, honestly. Vacation Bible School Administrator and teacher, Sunday School teacher, Youth Group teacher, Worship Leader, many, many teams, and other places of serving, and helping finish the construction on the church in Woodrow to be a beautiful building where we could gather to worship! For two years I have been feeling nudged by the Spirit to get more involved in church. I do sing once a quarter or so but I still felt I need to do more. I send cards to our church membership for special occasions. I joined in helping on Tuesday nights with our kids ministry. We give our money and our time. But what happened this week with this man collided violently with what our Pastor shared today in church. It was one of those sermons that reaches deep within you and really tugs at whatever it is that is going on that may be contrary to what God is wanting us to do! To me, today, it was confirmation of what I felt and heard from God on Wednesday in the conversation with Carlos and things that have been on my heart for the last 2 years.
Carlos and I had been talking for about 5 minutes and I started to ask him if he goes to church anywhere but he started speaking at the same time I did and he said that he was moving back to New Mexico so I dropped my question and walked down the path of conversation he started us on. And I never came back to my question. In my mind, I justified my decision to drop the question because he was leaving and wouldn’t be coming to church here anyway. But the second he turned down the alley to walk back toward where he said he lives, I was convicted and felt guilty that I hadn’t shared. I should have asked and started a conversation about the goodness of my Savior and shared with him if he wanted to hear it. But I didn’t even give him the chance.
I have fallen into a very comfortable state as a believer. Just like I had fallen into a very comfortable state with my health and lack of concern for long-term consequences. Neither of these situations is okay. As a believer, I am what the Bible calls lukewarm. I have been struggling with this for 7 years and finally labeled it today. Sure, I read my Bible every day. I pray often throughout the day. I try my best to live in a manner that is good. But many times those things I mentioned are done without much feeling or effort. I am going through the motions and that is all. I have grown far too comfortable looking at someone, and yeah, even having a conversation with them, and not always being concerned at all about where their soul will end up for eternity. I have been struggling with this feeling since Wednesday and never getting it quite right with Jesus until this morning in church.
I work in an environment where I was admonished for a “Praise God” utterance when speaking to two employees about my dad’s health and cancer treatments last summer. I had a really hard time with that because people are quick to say the stars aligned and the universe agrees but mention God in anything and it is instant quick sand. Consequently, I have made myself small there. In my faith, anyway. And that has fed into my complacency about what my true purpose on this planet is: sharing the love of Jesus with anyone and everyone who would listen.
Now, I know this is not exactly about the normal weight loss and health topics I talk about here. But this is something that is more important than weight loss to me, honestly. As the Bible says, what good is it if a man gains the whole world (or achieves his weight loss goals, or gets that next level promotion, or has a fancy car, house, or wardrobe) if he loses his soul. And what good is it if I have all that I need and want and am successful in my journey and life if someone else loses their soul because Jesus put them in my path so I could share with them and I didn’t. In a similar way, what good is it to me if I don’t use the knowledge and tools I have accumulated over the years to lose weight and get as healthy as I can. I am on this journey to be healthy and live a long and full life. I believe it is what is best for me and godly, honestly. But it isn’t easy. Any change we make comes with sacrifice and stepping out of our comfort zones. What we are tasked with is evaluating if the sacrifice and discomfort is worth the possible results and outcome. I believe most of the time we would say it definitely is worthwhile. I am done with being small in my spiritual walk and large in my physical one. As I work on either of those two things the other will automatically be strengthened and made better too.
It comes down to will and discipline as I mentioned a few weeks ago. Can we do it? Yes. Any of us can. Will we do it? That is the real question. It reminds me of a time when our oldest was misbehaving at home while playing with a toy and I had to take it away because he was using it in a harmful way. He was maybe 6. When the time came that I told him I’d consider giving it back, he came in and asked if he could have it again. I asked him if he was willing to play with it appropriately. He said no. He didn’t get it back. But, just like that, in our lives we have to determine if we are willing to do what is good and right and healthy. We have to figure out if we are going to be willing to use all the things we have been given for the betterment of ourselves and others. I am here fighting this fight for myself and for the good of others who are wanting to start. I will pray for you, encourage you, and let you know you are not alone on any journey you have to take. You can take the steps needed to get healthy spiritually and physically. I am able and willing and proving this to myself and others everyday. So, I pose the same question to you: Are you willing?
Losing Lacy 