Love Is . . . 

Today, Wade and I are celebrating 24 years of marriage. He is such a huge part of my success in my weight loss . . . and in my life, period. I don’t honestly know where I would be without him. And so, because I can, I want to take a minute of your time with this week’s blog and tell you a little about this man I am married to. 

He loves me. I know most married couples can say this about their spouse. But I mean that this man loves me more than I love him. And I LOVE him. SO much. But he always has. He said “I love you” first. He spends more time telling me he loves me than I do telling him. And he never fails to show me that he means it. If I ever doubt his love (it is my own mind doubting my own worth and thinking that I don’t even deserve his love) he will list off the ways and reasons he loves me.  

He is patient. Oh. My. Gosh. This man is patient. I can’t be the easiest woman to be married to. Not even close. But this man has the patience of a saint. He has walked with me through some really, really tough times and never once did he think of stopping. He never criticizes my OCD, or my incessant singing, humming and whistling (well, maybe my whistling), or my pre-“in-trouble”-lectures I give to our boys, or my constant need for reassurance, or my insecurities (there are SO MANY), or my insistence that things get done MY way more often than not. He is patient. And that word doesn’t really do what he is any justice. He has walked with me through some really difficult-to-heal-from physical issues as well as really difficult-to-navigate emotional issues. He stood by me and helped me care for our boys when my depression was so bad I wasn’t always able to do the things I wanted and needed to do. He is a great dad to our children. That is a whole other topic, though!

He is kind. Most of the time. He is also honest . . . I will get to that in a second. What I mean is that he has never said something to intentionally hurt me. He doesn’t come at me with meanness and spite when we are in the middle of a disagreement. When he asked me to marry him, I made him make a couple promises to me before I said yes. The first one was that he would never hurt me intentionally. The second was that he would make me laugh WAY more than he would make me cry. He has held up his end of the deal. On both counts. He has never, and I mean NEVER criticized me for my weight. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t tell me I am beautiful. He says, “Hello there, gorgeous . . . ” when he answers the phone when I call him.

He is honest. Brutally honest. Like if you really don’t want to know the truth about something, then do NOT ask Wade. He has no brain to mouth filter. If he thinks it, he says it. But that is one of his best characteristics, I think. No one on the planet ever had to question where they stand with the man. Ever. But he will also take responsibility when he messes up. For example, we were in our backyard yesterday and my parents came over to look at the progress we’ve made in the last week. We have an old white metal table and two chairs in a set. The chairs are on the deck already and my mom asked about the table. Well, last week, Wade hit it with a ladder he was moving and shattered the glass top. I answered her and just said, “The glass broke last week!” I didn’t say any more and she didn’t question. But Wade piped up and said, “I did a bad thing, Ma,” and went on to explain what happened. And, yes, he calls my parents “Ma” and “Pa” and always has. You know, I’m not sure he even knows their first names. Haha!

He is SUPER supportive of me in ALL things. I am a pretty calm kinda gal. Really, I am. But I am also always looking for ways to improve myself and challenge myself and grow myself! Sometimes, that means I make decisions that put me “out there” a little. I am entrepreneurially minded. I have always wanted to do MY own thing in my OWN business that would both help others and help our family grow and benefit from it. Consequently, I have taken a lot of chances in my life. Some have paid off. Some have not. I just quit my 8-5 job (although it was never just 8-5!) to work for myself from home. He didn’t blink. Not too long, anyway. He always shakes his head, purses his lips, and says, “I want you to be happy, baby . . . ” and then we pray about it and make a decision. Beyond that though, he has been so supportive of my lifestyle changes that have allowed me to get healthier and lose weight. He cooked for himself and the boys when I first started so I didn’t have to be tempted late into the evening or be tempted with foods I shouldn’t have. 

He is a God-first kind of man. He takes us to church. This hasn’t always been the case. Before our oldest child was born, we walked away from the church; from our faith; from God. For about three years we didn’t darken the doorway of a church. But when you truly belong to God, He doesn’t let you stay too comfortable for too long living a life that is not honoring Him and church-going is a part of that. Shortly after Ben was born, I started back. I knew we had a tiny soul we had been entrusted to raise to know who Jesus is and I took that very seriously. I took myself and our boys to church for a lot of years without Wade. But, about 7 years ago, he started going with us. And he hasn’t looked back since. I prayed every day for 11 years that he would return to his relationship with God and show our boys he believed that your salvation, your relationship and faith in God, and your church attendance to learn and grow are THE most important things in life. If our perpendicular relationship with God isn’t on the right track our vertical relationships with people have NO CHANCE of being on the right track either. This doesn’t mean we are better than anyone or do everything right. We both struggle with things just like anyone else. But we are saved sinners trying our best to serve and please a living God. And that is all that matters. 

Is my husband perfect? No. Not even close. What he is, though, is perfect for ME. Perfect for our family. God-ordained just for us. I value HIM so much! I want to work hard to make him happy because that makes me happy. I am so thankful for our life together and can’t imagine life without him in it. Thanks for letting me veer off the normal path today to tell you a little about the man that I still get butterflies for when I see him walk into a room. I love his gentle touch and his connection to my soul. I am sharing my heart with you. My Wade. He has been such a huge part of my finding the pieces of myself that I lost through the years of gaining weight. He has helped me find those pieces, clean them off and then arrange them where they fit. If you see him out and about delivering mail, or watching our kids participate in their sport of the month, please wave and smile at him. He will wave and smile back. Unless he doesn’t. But you will at least know where you stand with him. Just kidding. He is a nice guy. Truly one of the best. And I love him even more today than I did on this day 24 years ago. 

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou

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