So Long Summer . . .

This week has gone really, really well for me. I have shed a couple of pounds that I picked up in these last months. I am working my way back down and it makes me happy to see I have my mind refocused and ready. We have a new High School/Middle School facility here in our town and it will be open for people to use the walking track above our basketball court in the main gymnasium. I am excited to get a pass so I can walk in a place where I will stay somewhat warm during these cold fall and winter months that are coming. 

I love fall. It is my favorite time of year. Spring is a close second, but spring doesn’t offer the amazing colors that fall does. Plus, both my sons were born during the colder temps of fall and winter. Technically, Ben was born in the last couple weeks of summer, but in Colorado, those September days can go either way. This year, we had a snowstorm on his birthday, so there you have it. The cold always reminds me of when the boys were both babies. And it makes my heart happy to remember those times. But for me, fall is always such a picture of change. Not all change is bad. It’s taken me 40+ years to be able to say that not all change is bad without cringing. I am not a person who likes change. But when you realize that the only thing that ever stays the same is that everything changes in one way or another, you start to accept it a little easier. Or at least that is what has happened with me. I was driving around a couple weeks ago and noticed a beautiful tree whose leaves were a brilliant, almost neon, yellow. It caught my attention and when Carly came to visit, I purposely took the long route going somewhere with her that would allow me to drive her by this tree so she could see the color, too. She appreciated it as much as I did. Now, that was one day. The very next day, we took the same route to leave town. When we passed the tree, we were sadly disappointed to see that the tree had dropped all its leaves. I mean ALL the leaves were on the ground and most had been blown away by the high winds we had overnight the night before.  A few things came to mind when I saw that tree with all its beauty gone. I thought I would share some of them today.  One was just how fast things can change. Another was that everything, no matter how beautiful, comes to an end. And another was that even in its new state, it was still the same old tree. 

There have been times in my life where I had thought I could stay right there in certain moments forever and be completely content. Then there were other moments that I couldn’t wait to get to the end of the chapter. But every “thing” that has ever found a place in my life at one time or another has ultimately changed. Or they have changed me. This side of Heaven, I don’t think things will ever be stable or steady. Yes, certain parts of things will be somewhat consistent and may remain the same for a while but I think that we as humans are constantly changing and growing. We should be, anyway. Several years ago, I heard a saying that I use all the time . . . we are either green and growing or ripe and rotting. Those beautiful colors on those leaves we see in the fall are a sign of the leaves dying and ultimately failing. It is safe to say that those leaves have fulfilled their purpose and will leave the tree so that new, healthy leaves can take over the same job in the spring. Just like many things in our lives come to serve a purpose for a season. Sometimes, that season is long. Other times it is short. And the leaves that were there one day and gone the next really pointed out how fast change can happen. We have learned that life can change so quickly, even this year especially with the shutdowns our world has faced and the reformatting of all things that were once familiar to us. Our job is to learn to adapt. Does that mean we always like change? No, not even a little bit. But in the acceptance that things will change comes growth. When we have to look beyond ourselves and beyond what we are used to, we stretch ourselves. We learn to use resources above and beyond the small portion of the world in which we exist. 

I mentioned times in life when things were so great, so beautiful, that I could see myself continuing on in it forever and being completely happy. I’ve loved those times and have held on to those times, but I am also here to say that they have all changed. Some for the better and some for the not-so-better. Some have just morphed into something different and I can’t say they are definitively better or worse in any way. Just different. Life doesn’t ask your permission to move from one season to the next. Instead, it expects you to live in each moment to the fullest of your ability and embrace each part of it as it is full well knowing that it may not look anything like that tomorrow. Just as the tree dropped its leaves overnight. I am still surprised at how fast it happened. But I am also really thankful for the opportunity to drive by it for the week when it was so beautiful. If we aren’t ready for life to come at us quickly and bring with it both blessings and struggles, we are going to be very disappointed and we will have a hard time finding the good in anything we encounter. I think life is so fast-paced today and it’s not planning on slowing down any in the near future, I don’t think. But I can say that if the last 7 months taught me anything it was that nothing is harmed in taking things a little slower. The things that tipped my “important-meter” and had it pinging all the time prior to March have changed a bit for me. I have always known what the most important parts of my life are. But, at times, I have let life and it’s changing seasons and it’s ever quickening pace move my eyes off the important things. And I don’t want to miss those moments. I don’t want the busy-ness of life to take precedence over the quality of life itself. It’s not about the quantity of time or the number of things I am involved with or the amount of “to-do’s” on my list. It IS about the quality of those things and how I prioritize the “to-do’s” on my list. Keep the first things first. 

One of the most impactful things I realized when I saw the bare tree was that it was still the same tree. I think that there are times when life changes so much about us we can hardly recognize ourselves. This last year, a lot of physical changes have taken place in my life. And honestly, I still don’t see the girl in the mirror as being ME. I don’t know when I will see Lacy . . . the REAL Lacy . . . staring back at me. I still see the same girl who 150 pounds ago was struggling to get healthy and change her life. There were beautiful parts of the heavier Lacy. There are beautiful parts to Lacy now. And there will be plenty of beauty to come in the future. But it’s only because the person I am, the person I was and the person I will be is ultimately the same mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter, aunt, Christian, and citizen as I have always been. Have I changed? You bet. In more ways that I can tell you here. I have lost some of the “dead leaves” that for so long took care of covering me, feeding me and grabbing people’s attention and keeping it off the big trunk and rough bark and awkward limbs I ultimately tried to keep hidden. At times, I feel much more exposed, almost naked and bare, in front of people because I have lost such a huge amount of weight and I have nowhere to hide ME anymore. But that’s all right, too. It is all a part of how it’s supposed to be. No amount of weight loss, weight gain, hair color or skin wrinkles will ever change WHO I am. I think it will serve to make me more of who I already am anyway. The things who really make me who I am won’t change because I am larger or smaller or younger or older. They will only become more solidified as I move through season after season of this life God has blessed me with. I can only hope that I can be as wise as the tree. I can only hope to shed the dead things in my life that no longer serve a purpose and make room for the new growth to appear in the spring. I only need to have faith that there will always be new growth. Because in that faith, I can let go of what is and hope for what is to come.

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou

2 thoughts on “So Long Summer . . .

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