And Then . . . ?

This week was a good week. I didn’t do what I said I was going to do in the walking department. I’ll be honest about that. I did ride the stationary bicycle a couple times. But, man, my breathing is a little more difficult right now. I am getting better day by day, but even yet, it will take a little longer to get back where I want to be. Praying it happens soon. I am making a promise to myself right now, though, that I will walk everyday this week . . . barring weather. It’s supposed to snow Monday and Tuesday and the cold makes me cough quite a bit. I will walk when I can breathe without a cough this week. There. Modified. As far as eating this week . . . that went well. I stayed in bounds and enjoyed smaller portions. And I lost a pound. I’ll take it.

As I sat down to write this week, I realized that this week marks a year since starting this blog. With this blog, starting on January 29th, 2020, I have published fifty-two blogs. A year’s worth of shared thoughts, emotions, experiences, and a LOT of change. I am humbled at how much has changed in my life throughout the last year. What a year! This week also marks two years since I made a huge lifestyle change and started on this wellness journey that has made me lighter, healthier, more fit and happier than I have ever been. Even with some of the struggles I have had over these past two years, I am better than I was before. Much better. And, I am still “finding Lacy” in places I had forgotten about. And, my friends, that is a blessing. Over the last couple years, one thing I have found in myself again is a sense of urgency. Now, I am not meaning that I have to get things done in a hurry or that there is suddenly an importance in anything that wasn’t there before. I really don’t know how to describe it, but thinking about it this week reminded me of something that may help explain it. When I was young, I always knew I wanted to be a mommy. I really wanted four children. God didn’t have that in my life’s design, apparently, so we have only two beautiful souls we were tasked with raising. Most days, that was more than enough! After Wade and I had been married for about a year, I remember having a conversation about children with someone who had more life experience than I did. I asked her about when would be a good time for a young couple to start a young family. Is it after you have purchased a house? Or is it after you have lived to a certain age? Or is it after you have a certain amount of money saved in the bank? Or is it after you’ve found a dream job? Or is it after you acquire pets . . . or after you have paid off a car . . . or after . . . *insert WHATEVER YOU WANT here* That conversation has meant more to me the older I get.

There is a country song that has a line that really hits this person’s point. That line says, “If tomorrow never comes . . . ”  What is tomorrow if not “after” today? The sense of urgency that I said I have really found again simply means that I have stopped waiting to start something or do something I really wanted to. We hear all the time that life is too short for “this” or “that” or “something else” so we shouldn’t pass by the opportunity to let loved ones know they are loved or say what is on our heart or not be happy. In my business I hear it all the time. Someone wants to join our business “after” they _________ *fill in the blank* or “when they are done with” _________ *fill in the blank*. And again I’ve seen it with people who have wanted to get healthier or lose weight or work on a bad habit. More often than not they say the same thing . . . “after” or “when”. But what happens after? There is no time like the present, right? I made a decision that I would leave my job and come home to work for myself. Is there risk there? Yeah, there is. Is there fear there? Yeah, there is. I am responsible for my income in a way I never have been before. Don’t get me wrong, I worked hard when I was working and I earned my keep, so to speak. But now, it’s solely up to me to make my business grow and move. If I am not working, I am not earning. And I have to stay away from, “I’ll make those phone calls ‘after’ . . .” There are so many “afters” to worry about! 

My weight reached a point a few years ago that I knew I needed to start NOW to change the upward tick in the scale I saw week after week. I had a sense of urgency. I couldn’t wait until “after” any more. I stopped looking for excuses for why I COULDN’T lose weight and get healthy and instead replaced them with reasons WHY I needed to lose weight and get healthy. Has it been easy? Hahaha. NO. Not even close. But it has been worth it. I have had moments of weakness. I have had times when I didn’t care enough to continue. There were times when I binged on a sleeve of oreos or a pint of ice cream. But things were different. Before I started, I wouldn’t care about how that made me feel when I did those things. But now, when I veer off the path I need to be on, I am more often disgusted with myself and very, VERY disappointed in my weakness and lack of willpower. BUT, one thing remains. My desire to be ahead of the “after” that would come if I didn’t continue. I used to think that I would lose weight after I had a doctor tell me to lose weight. Or after I had a health scare. And then I would say I would start after the month was over or the boys were back in school or I was done with the stressful project in which I was involved at the time. Nothing good waits for us “after”. Nothing.

I have already shared that I started painting again around Christmas. I am loving it. But how many times during the last 5 years did I say I would start painting, or whatever hobby I wanted to try, “after” something else happened or ended. I am glad that I have found my sense of urgency this last year. I feel more motivated to continue this weight loss journey than ever. I left my job because I knew I could do something even greater for myself, than what I was doing. I knew God had bigger plans for me than where I was. I am still searching out all the different veins of that plan, but I am living it. I am here where I need to be. 

There was a movie about 20 years ago titled, “Dude Where’s My Car?” It is a comedy. It is kinda mind-numbingly dumb. But it has a scene where the two main characters pull up to a drive thru. The gal on the other end of the speaker keeps asking after each item they order, “And then . . . ” They grow frustrated with her and finally yell, “No ‘and then’!”, basically saying they are done and don’t want to order anything else. So I ask you, what happens “after”? I honestly don’t know. But my fear is that there will be no “and then’s” left for me. 

Friend, don’t wait to start whatever it is that is in your heart and mind to do until “after”. After may be too late. There are so many reasons to do whatever we can NOW because life is too short. It really is. You want to lose weight? Stop smoking? Get your body, mind or spirit in better shape? Be a better wife/husband/friend/sister/parent or whatever other roles you have in life? Start now. Don’t wait. If you need support, reach out to those who you KNOW are on your side. There are people who want better things for you than you want yourself. You know how I know that? I have some of those same people in my life. I am that person in the lives of others. Find those in your life who are bearers of the truth and let them help guide you. They won’t steer you wrong. Find the people who will tell you what’s best for you, even if it’s not what you want to hear. Let them in on your struggle, whatever that may be. Ask them for their support and help. AND THEN, find a way to start BEFORE it’s too late. You really are worth it. 

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou