After The Thrill Is Gone

This week, our college boy, Benjamin, was home from college for Spring Break. It was nice having him here, even if I did have to put my makeshift painting studio away so he could have his room back. There is still a lot of “stuff” in there and it really cramped his space, I am sure. Of course, he is so kind he wouldn’t ever have said one word about it. I did tell him that I would love to build a two story shed out back that could house my painting studio . . . or his room, either one! Of course, he was ALL OVER that idea. What happens for sure will remain to be seen for a while yet. I am not ruling out a two story shed AND a she-shed. I mean, what’s stopping that from happening? He said that he was glad I was still enjoying painting. In fact, and I didn’t tell him this, but I went through some withdrawals not being able to paint anything in the last 10 days! I am going to get his sheets washed, put back on the bed, get my tables and things all set up again and maybe paint yet this evening. We will see how tired I am at the end of the day. Ben, Franklin and I stayed up until about one this morning just talking and laughing and dreaming and laughing some more. I love those times. Truly, I do. And I am glad we can spend time together doing things like that. However, I am far too old to stay up that late anymore. But, again, I loved every second of it. I did think about all the work I have put in with getting all the paints and supplies and canvases and everything I needed for painting and then setting it up and cleaning that space and storing the finished paintings. And then I thought about moving out to a future shed and setting up shop out there. And then I thought, “Well, what happens when the new wears off?” Am I still going to love it as much after I have been at this for a few more months, or a year, or a few years? I don’t know if I will love doing this as much as I am now. I suspect I will. But what can we do to keep the love for something going long after the new wears off? 

We have all had new things come into our lives. Cars, houses, clothes, shoes, electronics, and the list goes on and on. We have had new situations come into our lives, too. Jobs, churches, relationships, schools, hobbies, and again, the list could go on and on. And all of those new things eventually becomes old, or at least familiar enough that the luster that once drew us to it is gone. Are we simply able to shine it and get it looking good again, or do we throw it out and start over. I guess that depends on what “thing” we are talking about. But it happens to all of us with every new thing that comes into our lives. I think of the “big” things here . . . marriage, children, pets . . . they all have a wonderful appeal and we fall in love with these things when we are first granted them. But it doesn’t take very long for us to realize that all of those things are going to require a lot more work than we may have initially thought it would. I mean, seriously, how is LOVE work? I don’t have an easy answer for that, but it is. More than half of all marriages end in divorce. I am not going to delve into the reasons why any more than to say I feel like a big part of that is the new wears off. It’s really easy to love someone who is trying to be the best version of themselves for you to win your love and affection. It is a whole other story after the thrill is gone, and we are comfortable enough to just be ourselves and the new wears off. The new becomes comfortable. The comfortable becomes familiar. The familiar becomes old hat. And eventually it becomes work. It always does. Have you ever noticed that when you get a new vehicle you are REALLY, SUPER careful about what goes into the car? You may not allow food in it for a long time. You may not even drink anything in it for a long time. And before you know it, you take food or drink into the car and it spills. And it’s like once that first time happens, you’re not as vigilant to keep it as spotless as it was. The new is gone.

I think that same thing can happen with any kind of healthful lifestyle we have chosen to lead. In our weight loss and healthful eating journey, there is a thrill in doing something new. New foods, new exercise, and even new mindsets. But eventually, as I described above, the new becomes comfortable . . . and you know the rest. And just as with the new car, we may decide that we are going to be very, very careful to adhere to our new eating habits and patterns and programs. And initially, that goes really well. Then, one day, we decide that we can have just one piece of chocolate, or one cookie or one “something” that we have been very diligent not to overindulge in. And just like the first mess in the new car, it makes it that much easier to have the next bad thing on our list and then the next bad thing on the list. And the cycle continues until there isn’t anything we don’t consider off limits any longer.  

So, how do we refocus and bring ourselves back after the excitement of “the new” has worn off? For me, personally, it’s about coming back to why we made the decision to love it in the first place. And, yes, I am one of those who believes love is a choice, especially in relationships. I do believe that with marriage, there is a mutual attraction and yes, love on a certain level without much effort. But I also believe that you CHOOSE who you love and you continually CHOOSE to love that person. Again, separate topic here to a certain extent. However, I think it applies, though, as you have the choice to continue to love something just as much as you have the choice to stop loving something. If the job you once loved is more work than joy for you, refocus, and remember what it was that made you make the decision to love it in the first place. Weight loss grind got you down? Want to give up because you’re not loving it like you were to start? New worn off? Remember why you started in the first place and get yourself back to that spot. Life is about starting and restarting everything continually. It’s the commitment to the purpose and vision and end-game that will keep us from quitting instead of starting again. But our commitment to the purpose and vision and end-game is fueled by remembering why we started. We have to be able to define our “why” and it needs to be a clear, simple, easy to explain definition. Wade once asked me why I loved him so much. And in jest I said, “I’m still trying to figure that out.” In honesty, there are far too many reasons to list here. But simply boiled down, I can say that one of the main reasons is because we made a promise to each other that we would always love each other. And if he is going to stick it out for me, then I am determined to do the same for him. It’s not always as easy when we are talking about a job, a hobby or our weight loss journey. The hardest things in life, for me, are to keep commitments that I have made to MYSELF. I have never had a hard time doing what I tell others I am going to do. I mean, yes, we have all let others down and I am definitely not perfect. But it’s easier to quit on yourself than it is other people.

I am encouraging you today to keep pushing through even after the shine is gone. After the appeal is worn off. Push through and fight the desire to stay comfortable with the status quo. I wrote last week about being a ten gallon person. Don’t be so quick to give up on something just because it gets a little difficult or because you have to work at it a little more now than you did before. Shoot, that is just life as we age, I think. Things that I used to feel good about doing and getting done rather quickly now take a little more effort and time. I can’t stay up past midnight and function the same way I could 15 or 20 years ago. Believe me, I think I am working on my fourth mug (yes, mug not cup) of coffee. But, the effort you put in today will not be counted as loss if you just stick to it. You can put a hash mark in the win column. The effort isn’t always easy. It isn’t always convenient. And we all know it isn’t always pretty. But it is worth it to gain the victories, large and small, that you are hoping and praying for. And YOU are worth every effort, too. 

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou