Fleeting And Fragile . . . Yet Full

Happy Father’s Day! Happy Summer! Today officially marks the first day of summer, the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. It is a lovely day today, I might add. The temps are not blazing hot as they were mid-week this week when the thermometer rose to over 100 for three (at least) straight days! Temps hovering around 80 today and a breeze has made it bearable. My oldest son, Ben, is coaching a baseball team this summer while he is home from college. His team played in the Summer Sizzler Baseball Tournament this weekend in our town. They lost the game before the championship game today so they didn’t advance to play for the “chip” this year. Ben loves coaching this team. I mean, it’s baseball. What’s not to love about it? He’s having a good time. Franklin, my youngest son, is living the good life this summer at the swimming pool as a lifeguard. And today, as I looked at my calendar and saw that it was the first day of summer and longest day of the year, I started thinking back to a conversation we had when Franklin was maybe 6 or 7 years old. Wade had said something about the day being the longest day of the year. Franklin, as any 6-7 year old would, took that statement quite literally. He asked his dad, “Well, how many more minutes do they put in today?” I honestly think his question had more to do with how much longer he could stay up before bedtime than it did with how much more we could have accomplished in those extra minutes he thought we’d been granted. As I thought about that conversation, my mind shifted to the last week we have had. Wade’s dad is on the mend and getting stronger every day, praise God! And my second interview with a company I have applied for a position with went very well. They can’t make it official so I can make it official but I’ve been told I’ll be very happy the week following the 4th of July! (I will share more details then, my friends). Wade and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this week and our oldest son will be twenty in September. All of that combined has me thinking about just how fleeting and fragile, yet just how full life can be. 

When I think about the fact that we could have lost Wade’s dad last week and the fact that my parents are both 81 years old, all of a sudden life seems to shrink up. The beginning seems really close to the end, with not much time between. It just seems so fleeting. Wade and I are 40-somethings, our children are growing older and life is happening just as it is supposed to, I am going to assume. There is nothing we can do to slow it’s pace. And you know, that’s okay. But I think life is all about finding balance. Balance between meeting needs but still fulfilling wants and desires. Balance between living a life of abundance but not over-indulgence. A balance especially between sharing our lives with others but maintaining our personal space and sense of self. Because, let’s face it, If we are to have any kind of meaningful, long-lasting relationships with others, we must first take care of ourselves. It really goes back to the adage that it doesn’t matter the quantity of minutes we can spend with our loved ones, it matters the quality of minutes we can spend with our loved ones. If we aren’t focusing on the first and most important things in OUR lives we can never make a difference or spend true quality time with those we love. 

When I look at our lives and the amount of minutes we have I feel very small in the grand scheme of things. I look at how old our world is and how many people have lived and died before us and it puts things into perspective. Kind of like thinking about how vast the universe is and how small we must really be when compared to all the other things God created. Yet, we are one of the most complex. The universe wasn’t given choices or options. The sun doesn’t get to decide if it shows up for work any given day or if it can leave early. Even if today is the day with the most amount of sunlight in it for this entire year. There is a set pattern and it is adhered to. Sometimes, I wish that for myself. I think healthful eating, diet, and exercise would be much easier if I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Making decisions is often difficult for me. That’s a whole other blog topic in itself! Haha! I don’t like making decisions, but I think that part of it is because I would rather NOT disappoint people. And in decisions, there is always someone who doesn’t get what they want and I don’t like that! I want to make everyone happy. I think, also, my depression is part of what makes decision-making a difficult endeavor. I navigate that just fine most of the time, but if it isn’t an important, life-altering decision, I will defer to someone else to make it. 

Knowing that God has only appropriated a certain amount of days in our lives is sobering. At least to me. I do try my best to accomplish something meaningful every single day. I don’t know who originally said this saying I am about to share with you, but I know it will resonate with the wonderful lady who edits my blog because it was from an article in our local paper about her dad and they had quoted him in it. It meant so much to me that I’ve never forgotten it: “Count that day lost whose low descending sun views from thy hand no worthy action done.” Upon reading that phrase, I thought about how many times I hadn’t done anything worthy. I may have stayed busy but I made no significant progress or difference in my world. No worthy action. Another quote I have adopted and try very much to remember and live by is this: “Nothing is wasted that adds to the person you are.” Once again, I don’t know who said it originally, but I try to remember it when I am doing something I don’t really enjoy or could easily find an excuse to get out of doing or when I need to motivate myself to keep moving even when I would rather not. I also think about it when I am doing something that I shouldn’t be doing or when I am procrastinating or putting off the important things because I just don’t feel like it at the time or even when I start to binge watch a series I have come across on Netflix! Some indulgences are harder to put away than others! 

There will never be enough minutes in our day, enough years in our lives, or enough time granted with our family and friends. But that doesn’t mean that the time we do have can’t be more full than we could ever imagine. To me, the older I get, the easier it is to be content with where I am. I have never really required much “stuff” and that’s even more so as time goes on. For me, being surrounded by the people I love, in the spaces I love – any given set of four walls – and doing the things I love have become the most important things to me. Working on myself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually is paramount in achieving all the things I want to do with those people in those spaces. Maybe, in the future, I will shift my focus to all the things I can accomplish in the time I have instead of wondering about how that time can best benefit me. There is a lot I believe God has called me to accomplish in this life and I need to focus on those things and keep my commitment and resolve to do what’s best for my own health and wellness or I won’t be able to do the things He has asked of me. I owe that much to myself and to my family and those He would have for me to help. And I need to remember . . . I am worth it. I really am. 

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou