Back In The Saddle (Or Walking Shoes) Again

Hey, everyone! It’s been a while. Just over 2 years in fact. But that isn’t anything compared to the last time I went for a walk or counted calories or was purposeful in some habits. That is closer to 3.5 years. But, you know, it’s okay. I can give myself a little grace. I need it right now.

Let’s start at the beginning – the VERY beginning – to catch everyone up who may be new to Losing Lacy and needs to know the important pieces. I was born in . . . just kidding. Not THAT beginning. In 2018, I joined up with a phenomenal CBD company and began using their products. I used and sold a line of weight loss products until the company quit producing them. I still use the CBD because it is what keeps me functioning in so many ways. Through these products I was able to get off of prescription heartburn medication, prescription depression/anxiety medication, and my body started to feel relief from Rheumatoid Arthritis (Ankylosing Spondylitis), Fibromyalgia, Trigeminal Neuralgia, and a myriad of other health issues that I still deal with every single day. Some days are much better than others. What I can tell you is this: excessive weight on my body serves only to exacerbate these physical issues. I have never been one to complain about too much of what my body feels daily. There are definitely times when it feels like I just can’t take any more or all three things happen to flare at the same time. Those are really bad days. 

Over the course of two years, I lost 160 pounds and was about 80 pounds from my goal weight. Two-thirds of the way there. It was a hard-fought battle to be sure; one I regret retreating from. Out of that journey, when I was down about 110 pounds “Losing Lacy” was born. I published my first blog on the 1 year anniversary of beginning to use those weight loss products. I was good for another year and continued to lose, slower but losing nonetheless, and then began just maintaining, and then I got very sick and stopped walking and stopped trying. In 4 months, I gained 40 pounds and instead of getting back on track I just kept letting it slide, continually saying, “I’ll start next week/month/tomorrow . . .” All the while knowing that wasn’t true because I had said that a hundred times before finding success in any form on this, my biggest journey. It became an excuse. Then everything else became an excuse. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. It’s the wrong time of day. I have so much other stuff to do. Through that time I truly started losing Lacy. Again. I was uncomfortable in the clothes that were too snug and that eventually didn’t fit at all. I bought minimal amounts of clothes in the last couple years because I kept telling myself I’d start next week. See above and repeat about 200 times. I told myself all the lies I had told myself many times in my life. My weight didn’t bother me – it did. My health was fine as long as I bought into the “happy in the skin you’re in” mentality – it wasn’t. I couldn’t lose all the weight I needed  to and my failure in the most recent chapter proved that – it didn’t. There are so many things we will say to keep ourselves comfortable and I mean that wholeheartedly. In any walk of life. From our beliefs about God and faith to how we raise our children or how we live our lives. What I do know is that my lifestyle is not pleasing to God and is doing me no favors in being able to carry out the things I believe He has called me to do, nor is it leading me to a long, healthful life.

Lets fast forward – My youngest graduated High School and has launched into a life as an electrician apprentice and is making both his dad and I very pleased – VERY pleased. My oldest graduated college and is also making us both very pleased – VERY pleased. My parents have had a few very serious health issues over the past few years. Praise God, those things have all been handled and they are still doing very well. However, in taking care of them, I was reminded that I really do need to be in better shape to be able to be what they are eventually going to need me to be.

So, here we are. A renewal. A rejuvenation and a reset, if you will. 

I announced to my Facebook world that I had started again. I both want and need that accountability. But what I didn’t tell everyone in those posts is that I found a supply of the same CBD weight loss product that I had used to lose that 160 pounds I had lost initially! It wasn’t the whole system, just the Absorb and Release capsules. But that is fine. That is what I needed. Someone had them tucked away in a great place and they are a touch past expired but the formulator/creator said that they are fine for several years past expiration. I am elated. And seeing results. I have been using the products since 9/12. I am already down 16 pounds. Nearly 10% of my goal has already come off. That is a great motivator. 

However, last night I was walking solo for the first time since restarting this journey and I do my best thinking/praying/problem-solving on those solo walks. I had no music. Just me, the pavement, and Jesus. I thought about motivation – how when I start something like this I am motivated. But motivation is a feeling. It is fleeting, as my sister said this morning when I told her that I was going to blog about this. During my very short walk last night, I compared motivation to the discipline I acted in last night. I didn’t feel like walking. I was by myself. I cleaned for several hours and was tired. I could “do it tomorrow” and a bunch of other stupid thoughts. I wasn’t motivated. But what I am is disciplined. I firmly believe that discipline is the only thing that creates positive change in your life. I needed to be motivated to start and to begin to find a routine that would create the discipline I need to reach these very lofty goals I have. And the discipline I abide by during the week gives me the results on the scale to help keep me motivated. See how that works? I can’t fight this fight with feelings. I don’t fight any of the fights in my life with feelings. I am usually pretty good at examining facts and making a decision. If that particular decision isn’t working then I examine facts and make a DIFFERENT decision. It never fails. Because it won’t fail until you stop trying. I also have a VERY low tolerance for the excuses that would keep me right here where I am at this moment. I will talk about that more next week. I have at least 3 blogs worth of thoughts that I recorded last night and can’t use it all today! There just isn’t room. 

What I really want you to know is this: While I can’t provide the tool I am using as I did before for so many, what I can provide is support. If you have been thinking about changing something in your life, whether it be weightloss, an addiction, a lifestyle, a habit, I am here to help. I find that I am at my best when helping others. I want to be a part of your community, with no judgment, to help you achieve those goals that you feel called to and led by God to reach. You are worth it to make the changes to step into who HE made you to be. I am, too. I firmly believe that. 

I will leave it at that for today. Know that I haven’t gone anywhere. Although I did make myself scarce these past few years. I am making significant decisions that will change my life forever. I did it once. I will do it again, God willing. And I believe He is. He wants what is best for me more than I want what’s best for me. More than my husband, parents, kids, sister, and friends want for me. If He calls me to be healthy then He will provide the way, the stamina, and the discipline to accomplish just that. All I need to do is step back in the walking shoes again.