Tools of the Trade

This week has been actually pretty good in the eating category! I haven’t strayed too far from the things I know I need to eat. I spent some time with an upset stomach on Christmas Night and early that next morning. I think I was a combo of eating a lot of heavy things that I normally don’t with a rather greasy breakfast Christmas morning and then a very late snack of a piece of peanut brittle. (Sorry, probably TMI. Haha. That’s me though, right? This whole blog tends to be TMI at moments.) I am better now, but that kept me away from eating too much junk yesterday, for sure! I had lost three pounds last week by the number the scale showed me when I weighed on Monday morning. That is always a win! Anyway . . . this next week should be even easier and I am looking forward to stepping on the scale after the 1st of the year and seeing nothing but gains – in the loss department. I am starting another challenge with people wanting to take control of their health also. Some have done this program before and some have not. I am excited to start with them in January and continue to drop the excess weight I need to lose! 

We are smack dab in the middle of a bathroom repair/remodel. I can’t really classify it as a full remodel. We are keeping the same vanity and sink but replacing the tub (which was the reason for the repair in the first place) and new shower stall insert. New flooring and a new toilet . . . a taller, “made-more-for-grown-ups” toilet. My mom, Betty, told me it would change my life. She wasn’t wrong. My dad, Lloyd, has been helping with this endeavor. Wade, my husband, was able to help out the first weekend (last weekend) and since then it’s been my just dad working on it. I actually took a shower in the new tub/shower today. It was SO nice after using the boy’s smaller 3’x3’ shower stall for the last week! Wade and my dad have worked together on all of our home improvement projects over our 24+ years of marriage. From the first bathroom remodel we did almost 18 years ago, to the flooring we’ve done, to painting and new walls in certain rooms, to our new water heater and new furnace, to the deck that we replaced last summer (that project isn’t finished but I hope when the weather starts getting warmer in the spring, we can get it done quickly!) Now, to know my dad is to love my dad. To know Wade? . . . meh. Just kidding. Most love Wade, too. When these two come together . . . oh, my. The stories we could tell. They get along famously. But again, if you can’t get along with my dad, there’s something wrong with you! To get along with Wade? . . . meh. Just kidding. Kinda. But seriously, these two are quite the pair. At one point last week, I heard my dad ask Wade if a piece of drywall they had cut would fit where it was intended. Wade’s answer was, “I dunno, Pa. You measured it.” Another time, my dad said, “We mighta oughta read the directions, Wade.” To which Wade responded, “Maybe so, Pa. Maybe so.” I’m telling you. They keep things interesting. I have been picking up scraps and parts and pieces here and there and trying to keep what is “keepable” and throwing what’s “throwable” and not losing my mind as my OCD suffers from not being able to keep things tidy! And the tools. Good night, the TOOLS! Seriously. But, a few things came to mind this week as I was looking at all the tools they have used this last week. One was these tools are costly. There is a LOT of money that has been spent on all the various tools lying in random places all over my house. Another thing was that they all serve very different purposes. It’s not like there is an all-in-one saw, with a chalk line, with a sander, with a knife, with a level, with a hammer, with a screwdriver, with a flashlight all attached. (And if there is, please don’t tell Wade about it. Stop chuckling. I am being serious, here.) The other thing I thought about is that you really have to know how to use those tools to accomplish what you have set out to do. 

I thought about all those different tools and how it relates to weight loss and healthy living in general. I have kind of touched on this before. I have been known to purchase a new workout DVD or a new program or a new shake or a new pair of workout pants as if just owning those things was somehow going to make me lose the weight I so desperately wanted and NEEDED to lose. If only it were that easy. Truth is, you can spend money on a lot of things in life that are supposed to help you but if you don’t use them, it’s money wasted. I might as well have just thrown my money in the trash with some of those purchases. I was motivated when I bought those things. I was in love with THE IDEA of getting healthy. I was in love with THE IDEA of losing and feeling better. Well, an idea is like a wish. Wish in one hand and, well, you know how that saying goes. You can have an idea but if you don’t put action to it, it dies there. And when it dies, for me, food takes its place. I would eat to make myself feel better about the purchase and the “un-use” of that new item and the let-down and disappointment because it just couldn’t quite get me the results I wanted and could see in my mind’s eye. And that is exactly what happened to many of the things I purchased thinking they would motivate me. They always cost me more than just money. A little part of the hope I had of EVER getting into shape and losing weight and finding a way died, too. It wore on me. If you’ve never been there, fighting to find a way to better yourself (IN ANY AREA OF LIFE); fighting to believe that you are worth it; fighting to see yourself through the eyes of those who love you and KNOW you are special . . . it will be hard for you to understand. But believe me. It’s difficult to see your way out of that. It is difficult not to let it keep you there, in that spot of hopelessness. And it’s painful. Really painful. 

Tools are different. And they serve different purposes. For weight loss, there are so many tools. There are pills. There is surgery. There are meal plans and programs. There is exercise. There are support groups. And perhaps the most frustrating thing of all is that not all of them work the same way for everyone. I’ve seen people have great success with meal plans. I have seen some have success with surgery. I have also seen temporary successes with meal plans and surgeries and other “tools” and then I’ve watched the same successes take a turn and lead that person right back to where they started. For one thing, the tools don’t matter much if you haven’t made up your mind that it is nothing more than a tool to get you from point A to point B and it’s up to you to do the work to stay at point B. I have had successes with other workout plans and other meal plans and such as well. And for whatever reason I would always end up gaining the weight back as soon as I stopped using them. My MINDSET hadn’t changed enough for me to stay where I needed to be. It was temporary for me. And because I have so much to lose, it was not going to take care of itself in a month or even six. No. And that was what was so difficult for me. I have been losing weight for TWO YEARS. And I am still not where I need to be. But I guess when you have 200+ pounds to lose, you know at the start it’s going to take time. For me, though, it was about finding the right tool and using it the right way. 

Each tool in the box serves a certain purpose and we really have to find out what that is and then use it to its fullest. A tool is only as effective as the person using it. You can hand a hammer to a 4 year old and they’ll tear up way more with it than they’ll ever fix. Certain “tools” in the wrong hands can cause more damage than good. Weight loss tools are no different. You can employ all the programs and all the workout videos that are available to you, but they are only going to be as effective as YOUR MIND will let them be. A weight loss tool can get you down in weight to where you feel best but it’s going to be up to you to maintain that weight. WHEN I reach my goals in weight loss, it will be completely up to me to stay there. Can I be mad at the tool I’ve used to get me down if I start to gain again? Can I blame the hammer for the hole in the wall if I was the one swinging it? Not so much. That’s really not how that works. It’s on me. I am the one who needs to know how to use the things around me to not only lose weight and get healthy, but to maintain and keep that weight off. It remains to be seen how that will work out for me. I have yet to see my goal weight. But if I have learned anything in the last two years, it is this: I CAN. I have done more in the last two years that I ever thought I could OR WOULD. I think I have surprised my own family at my sheer determination to continue losing. I am down almost 160 pounds from where I started two years ago. I still have SO FAR to go. But I am a lot closer to where I want to be than when I started. I have learned to stop doubting myself and just go for it. Well, still working on that, truth be told. But I am so much better than I was. And you know, I am worth it. I am worth whatever it takes to be healthy and happy. And I am working on it. Daily. 

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou