Resolved

This week hasn’t been good. I hate when I feel like I have lost a day to something out of my control and REALLY hate when I feel like I have lost an entire week to something out of my control. Mentally, I am worn out. We are still in the middle of the repair on the bathroom. And to add to my frustration . . . we can’t finish the main bath because we can’t find the same paneling that is on the walls in there. The local lumberyard used to get this particular paneling from a place in Nebraska that went out of business and the one place where they can buy it has an 80 sheet minimum purchase. I need a 2 foot wide section . . . so less than a full sheet. We are likely going to have to redo the walls in that bathroom. And then we decided to go ahead and do some remodeling in the boys’ bath also. Updating with a new vanity and sink and flooring to match the main bath. That’s all pretty manageable outside of keeping my OCD in check because everything is out of sorts. But then I ended up getting sick. Like kinda really sick. And I am not able to do even small tasks right now without being completely wiped out. Thus my feeling as though I have lost a week. I have been able to do a few paintings (yes, I am painting in a new technique) as doing so doesn’t require much from me. However, physical activity has stopped. I am missing church today and I haven’t walked all week. I don’t know that much physical activity will happen next week, but I don’t have much of an appetite either. I’ve got that going for me. All that being said, I am going to make this a short and sweet blog this week so I can get back to holding the couch down. 

I saw something on Facebook about the ringing in the new year that made me laugh out loud this week. Well, actually I saw several things about it that made me chuckle. One said something about how we all need to come into this year quiet and calm . . . with no fuss and no big deal being made. Enter calmly and DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING. I laughed. The other thing I saw asked if anyone else was concerned that the name of this year was “2020 WON” . . . I thought, “Well, now I am!” *wink wink* I know I am not the only one who is glad to say that this year was welcomed and prayers and hopes are that it will be better. But honestly, I started thinking about what it is in our minds that makes us think things are going to be “different” just because of the date on the calendar. I know that the same kindness or hatred; the same unforgiveness or grace; the same sickness or health will travel right beside us into any new day, new week, new month and new year we greet. The difference isn’t in a page on a calendar. It is in the hearts and minds of the people flipping that page on the calendar.

I have been one who has set resolutions on New Year’s day and then watched as the “resolve” I once had in making them dwindle. Then, what had lasted a few days or a few weeks turns into the first major failure of the year. Now, I’m not afraid of failure. In fact, that’s a whole separate topic I want to write about! I intentionally made the decision I wasn’t going to make any resolutions this year. And you know what? The calendar page flipped and we are now in the 3rd day of that new year. The ball still dropped. The fireworks still went off. The party-goers still sang “Auld Lang Syne” as midnight came and went. Now, I am not here to tell you you’re wrong if you made a resolution. That’s your deal! Truly. I am just trying to say that for the first time EVER I didn’t enter the New Year thinking about what I wanted to change. I am trying to learn and grow daily. It’s not a one and done thing for me anymore. I have decided that my happiness isn’t conditional on whether or not I am still doing “that thing” I had resolved to do. No. Not at all. My happiness is found in doing things that bring me peace. Walking, singing, painting, spending time with family, praying, reading my Bible . . . All these things are happiness to me. I have grown more and more simple the older I get. And I am really comfortable and okay with that. Now, that’s something I never thought I would say. Again . . . that’s a topic to write about in itself!

What would happen if we set out every single day to love better, speak kinder, do more good than the day before? What would that look like? I think that the things we set out to do would be much better served if they weren’t resolutions made because of a date on the calendar but because we can see the inherent need to do the right things for the right reasons all the time. I guess I am reminding myself and maybe you, my readers, to embrace “the NOW” and live in the moment. Life is far too short to settle for dwelling in the past or letting the fears and uncertainty of the future ruin today. That heavy thing you’ve been carrying . . . find a way to put it down. Open your hands and let it go. We can’t receive the goodness and blessings that ARE meant for us if we are “white-knuckling” things that are NOT meant for us any longer. I know. It’s difficult. Believe me, I get it. But we have to know that we are worth it. I am worth it. You are worth it. And the people around us are all worth it, too. 

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou