Healing From Heaven

Well, activity has picked up for most of the country as our children have all headed back to school in whatever form that looks like. Both our boys started again this week. Tank is a Junior in High School this year and Ben is a Sophomore in College. I still maintain that I don’t know what happened to the last 20 years of our lives. This week I have been in full swing, on my own, talking with people on my schedule for Tawkify. I am loving this so much. Talking to folks from all walks of life all searching for the same thing . . . companionship and love. Truly loving it! I am getting back into the swing of things with a little more physical activity also. I know I need to refocus and push harder to get myself back to doing better and dropping more weight. So, that’s where I am at and what I am doing. Please send all the good thoughts, positive vibes and prayers you can spare my way to stay focused, be patient, and see better results.

Last night, I went with my girls to a “Kidz Healing Artz” Center charity event at the new winery in Fort Morgan. It was a blast. They featured a fantastic local artist and had a silent auction and wonderful door prizes. I loved getting to see all of the great pieces of art by the local artist and hear about how the Healing Artz Center helps children dealing with grief and loss. One of my girls and I talked about how wonderful this organization is for children and how it can translate to ANYone who has dealt with loss at any stage in life. One thing that caught my attention was how they have these kids write a letter to their loved one who is no longer with them. That’s honestly a pretty common thing in therapy. Believe me, I know. But she told us there is a second part to it that you don’t know is going to happen until you write that letter to your loved one. That added piece is that they then write a letter to themselves in response from their loved one. Reading the letter on display from children to grandparents and then their response letter back to themselves brought huge tears to my eyes and really made me think about those I have lost in my life and receiving letters from Heaven, if you will.

When you experience loss – in any form, really – it changes you. There are people in our world who have never, by their own admission, had to deal with the death of anyone particularly close to them. And then there are others yet, who seem to have experienced extreme losses . . . over and over. Loss changes you. It changes your world and even changes your view of certain things in your world. Things are never going to be the same. But somehow we move on with their memory safely kept in our minds and hearts. I know our family has dealt with our share of grief and loss. And it has shaped my life. It doesn’t define me in any way, but it has fashioned some of the priorities I have and some of the things I do and even how I see things sometimes. I don’t dwell on the people who are no longer here for me. But there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think of them in some way and try to live my life in a way that would make them proud. But I really thought a lot about it last night and then this morning and I wondered what they, particularly my mom, would write back to me if she could. I decided that sometime very soon, when I have time to really focus on the healing aspect of this activity, I will write that letter to her. And then I will write a response from her. I think deep down we all know what our loved ones would tell us if they could. But I do see the value in doing this. 

I really feel like this activity can be carried over into many areas of our lives. Have some hurtful things been said and done to me through the years? Absolutely. Pretty much everyone in the world at some point has been the recipient of meanness or cruelty, violence or something of the like. And maybe it would be a benefit to us if we did write letters that speak to some of those things. And while I am at it, can I write a letter to my fat self from my thinner, fit self who I just KNOW is trapped inside my thicker body? What would that letter sound like? I’ll figure that out. Because this blog is truly about weight loss I want to focus on that point for a second. What would a thinner version of myself say to me right now? I know my life has been shaped and changed in many ways because of the large frame I have been in most of my life. I have been fat for more years than I was fit. And I can’t help but think about what could be different if it were the other way around. I think it’s time to find out. I was inspired to really focus on me again and get the last bit of my weight off. A loss of 160 pounds is tremendous. I have found about 30 of those again through the journey, but still, down a bunch! But I am refocusing on this journey of mine. For the right reasons. 

I want nothing more than to be the best version of myself. And in recent years, that has transitioned into being the best PHYSICAL version of myself. I lose focus from time to time. I even lose the will to do it from time to time. And it’s okay. It really is. Life is difficult. Weight loss is difficult. No . . . more than that. Weight loss is painful. In more ways than one. I have never done anything that is more trying and extreme and exhausting in my life. But in my experience, the best things in life come after our toughest battles. All good things require patience and resilience. I will focus on healing from the inside out. After all, the heart, mind, soul, and emotions are the center of who we are and unless all of those intangibles are dealt with properly, we cannot ever scratch the surface on some of the other things in our physical world. I do know that my mom would be proud of who I am today. The wife, mom, friend, and person I have become are all because I had the blessing of being raised by people who loved me regardless of my accomplishments or weight. They have always believed in me and always will. And I married someone who has always seen the better parts of me and been patient with the less than perfect ones. And friends. What would I do without all of the wonderful people who have endeared themselves as family to me? My hope for you is that you take the time you need to heal from whatever it is that needs healing. Care for yourself. Talk to those who care about you. And whatever you do, don’t forget that you are worth it.

#loveyourjourney #youreworthit #bettermewithNewYouCBD #Endo30 #itsuptoyou

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